An
expat parent in #Singapore told me last week that the Tiger Mother culture is
now so strong that government posters have recently appeared on advertising
boards at the side of the roads announcing, ‘Please allow your child to play
for at least 2 hours each day’.
However, a recent study by Pearson found that
the UK is lagging behind the educational attainment levels in some parts of
Asia due to a less ambitious culture amongst parents, to support and drive
their children’s educational achievements. Should our parents be setting the
bar higher, challenging and expecting their children to achieve more, rather
than accepting what some might call adequacy?
In
my opinion, children will perform at their best if parents aim to identify a
happy medium. Ensure their children aim high, without pushing too hard that
they become dis-illusioned and switch off or feel that their child-hood has to
some degree been stolen from them.
Developing
social skills and emotional intelligence are just as important as the highest
academic qualifications. The ability to network and communicate effectively
will be just as important to potential employers as exam grades. Replacing with
academic tuition too many opportunities to play and socialise with peers, will
in my opinion not allow a young person to develop into a well-rounded
individual. Could you be a doctor for example, if you have a superfluity of A*
grades but are not able to communicate and empathise with people?
Many
children will be spending the up-coming summer months attending academic
after-school and holiday courses preparing for 11+, 13+ or entry exams for
independent schools in the autumn term. Bearing in mind the above, here are a
few observations which I hope might help parents to attain a happy balance.
Listen
to your current school’s view on potential vs. attainment to date. Set
ambitious but realistic expectations and then form a view as to whether they
need to be pushed to work harder by extending their working day and shortening
their holidays through extra tuition.
Education
should always be a partnership between school and home. Taking an active
interest in their homework, listening to and encouraging them to read by
finding books on topics they enjoy, engaging in conversation about current
affairs, going to museums and art galleries together, arranging additional 1 to
1 tuition in areas they are finding tricky, are all areas where parents can
offer valuable input to enhance attainment. No parent should hand their child
over to the school age 5 and expect to see a fully ‘educated’ 18 year old
delivered at the end, with little engagement in what goes on in-between.
Reassure
your child that you will not go to bed and cry for a week if they fail the
up-coming tests. They must feel you just want them to try their best, even
though inside you may feel sick to your stomach.
Support
your child by engaging the right type of support with preparation so they don’t
feel like a rabbit in the headlights when they enter an exam room, have
mastered the study and exam skills and techniques to optimise their attainment
and have the right tools to cope with time-pressure and exam stress.
Take
a step back from school gate banter and hype by considering your own situation
carefully and then doing your own thing as you feel appropriate for your child
as an individual. Jumping on the bandwagon may well end in tears.
Catherine
Stoker is Managing Director of the Independent Education Consultants, helping
parents to make the right education choices at the right time.
From
choosing a school, transition at 7+, 11+, 13+ and 16+ to career planning and
applying to university, they have a team of education experts who collectively
have years of experience in offering advice and guidance to parents.
For more
details about their services and how they support parents in making the right
education choices, visit their website. www.independenteducationconsultants.co.uk
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