Parents want to protect, solve problems, make everything
right but does this encourage independent thinking, where children can resolve
life’s challenges on their own? Will they fall apart when they first experience
failure or disappointment? Emotional resilience helps children understand their
strengths, think in a flexible, resourceful way, see things from the viewpoint
of others, and thereby become more confident to cope with the ups and downs of
childhood.
To develop resilience, listen, acknowledge and show empathy.
Help them to name emotions they are feeling. Angry, unhappy, frustrated. Encourage
perspective by marking problems on a scale of 1-10.
Support by saying if you could, you would solve their
problem for them. Explain that is not possible on this occasion. Invite them to
suggest what they might do to solve the issue. Only chip in with suggestions,
if they are unable to come up with their own.
When coping with disappointments such as missing out on team
selection, not securing a part in the school play, or feeling excluded amongst
peers, ask first if these are your aspirations as a parent, or theirs?
Discuss personal ambitions with your child and how they might
achieve them. What are other children are doing that is different? How might
your child improve their skills, for example a holiday course or weekend
workshops? How might they be ‘noticed’ next time? Ask the school for tips on
how they might improve, to have a better chance of success.
For more information on building emotional resilience visit www.way2be.me
To read more articles and for details of how our team of consultants can advise you regarding your education choices, higher education and careers, visit our website www.independenteducationconsultants.co.uk
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